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Saturday, November 26, 2011

Love Should Not Be Divided (or I know how to multiply ... fractions) "Sister Wives"



As some posters wisely pointed out, my previous post on how much time Kody can theoretically spend with each of his children omitted one very important thing ... the time he spends with his wives.   So let’s rectify that and re-do the math:

Scenario A:  Equal Time

If Kody spends equal time with each wife and family (i.e. 1 night in 4, or 25%, with each) , this is how much time, theoretically, he has for each of his wives and children:
1. Meri's family  (Meri + Mariah) 2 = 12.5% each
2. Janelle's family (Janelle + Logan, Madison, Hunter, Garrison, Gabriel, and Savanah) 7 = 3.6% each
3. Christine's family (Christine + Aspyn, Mykelti, Paedon, Gwendlyn, Ysabel, and Truely) 7 = 3.6% each
4. Robyn's family (Robyn + David Jr. [AKA Dayton], Aurora, Breanna, and Solomon) 5 = 5% each

Scenario B:  A Favored Wife and Unequal Time

If Kody spends more time with his newest wife, Robyn, as many people speculate that he does (for example: Let's say he spends 2 nights out of every 5, or 40%, with Robyn and her children and 3 nights out of 5, or 20% each, with the other 3 wives and their children), this is how much time, theoretically, he has for each of his children:
1. Meri's family  (Meri + Mariah) 2 = 10%
2. Janelle's family (Janelle + Logan, Madison, Hunter, Garrison, Gabriel, and Savanah) 7 = 2.9% each
3. Christine's family (Christine + Aspyn, Mykelti, Paedon, Gwendlyn, Ysabel, and Truely) 7 = 2.9% each
4. Robyn's family (Robyn + David Jr. [AKA Dayton], Aurora, Breanna, and Solomon) 5 = 8% each

You can see how Meri’s plan is backfiring on her under this scenario as Robyn now has almost as much of Kody’s time and attention as Meri does.
When Kody is with each family, those family members focus their attention (either positive or negative) on him; it appears he is usually everyone else’s number 1.  No wonder he comes across as an arrogant ass.  Due to sheer numbers, Kody cannot focus his attention on any one person without neglecting another (for example, neglecting the children to spend time with the wife).  In a family with this size and configuration it is very difficult for the father to be fair and equal with his time.
In addition, for the father to be able to focus on family members during his visits, he must not pay attention to household issues (chores, repairs, finances, school issues, etc.).  This means that the wives must do those things, functioning as single parents, and that the husband functions without the normal responsibilities that accompany marriage and parenthood.  It may be a “superior way of life” for someone, but that someone appears to me to be only the husband/father, while responsibilities multiply for the wives, and attention and resources are divided for the children.

Written by: TERRASOLA
 

17 comments:

  1. A while ago I watched a tv special on winston blackmore and all of his wives. One of them said when he takes a new wife he spends more time with them than the other ones to make sure she is feeling safe and secure. My husband burst out laughing at that! Sure - thats why the new wives get more time!

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  2. Love the way you think, girl!! When you break it down into numbers like this, it becomes particularly sad. GREAT WRITING!!!

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  3. Terrasola, the more I see your posts like these, the more it sinks in how strange it is to be "married" to someone down the street so to say. I feel for those teens.

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  4. How weird now that they are split between 4 houses, and Dad is seen walking or motoring to each house on a set day. Kind of puts it out there in a goofy and embarrassing way. imagine kids playing 4 square out front and Dad leaves for the house two doors down.....uncomfortable. I am still giggling over one of the wives saying it was so hot you can fry an egg on the sidewalk, then trying it in a frying pan. :),,,,,,,Enjoying the show and blog, not sure in what order.

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  5. OK, my secret is out. I have a new calculator!

    To make this even more real, here is what this means over the course of a week, assuming Kody works 8 hrs (bwahahahaha), sleeps 8 hrs, and takes another 2.5 hrs for his own personal needs (eating, showering, etc.). We know that the actual time he spends with his family members is probably much less.

    SCENARIO A (equal time):
    Meri & Mariah: each potentially get 6.8 hrs of Kody's time weekly
    Janelle & kids; & Christine & kids: each potentially get almost 2 hrs of Kody's time weekly
    Robyn & kids: each potentially get 2 3/4 hrs of Kody's time weekly

    SCENARIO B (Robyn as the favourite wife getting 40% of Kody's time):
    Meri & Mariah: each potentially get 5.5 hrs of Kody's time weekly
    Janelle & kids; & Christine & kids: each potentially get 1.5 hrs of Kody's time weekly
    Robyn & kids: each potentially get a bit more than 4 1/3 hrs of Kody's time weekly

    Polygamy reminds me more and more of what I have been taught about taking illicit drugs: that it is "the big lie", i.e. you think it's great, your consciousness is expanded, and that you are in control, when in reality IT has control of you and is shrinking your world the further you get into it.

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  6. I think the numbers put the kabosh in the 'Love should be multiplied, not divided' nonsense that Kody spouts. They just cannot seem to realize that MULTIPLYING wives and children DIVIDES the amount of attention each can have.

    At this point, nothing he (they) do can fix it. Moving into fewer houses doesn't fix it as they had their own apartments and Kody days in the same house. In fact, they commented that they didn't get him to focus on one family then. A wife leaving him would remove her time from the equation giving more time for her kids if Kody left them on their separate time in the rotation schedule. But, my guess is that Kody would just shove them into a day reserved for the other wives, and call that 4th day his 'night out with the boys' time ... or devote it to Robin.

    This will at least serve as a caution to other insane individuals thinking it is a great lifestyle.

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  7. You know who needs Kody? His teenagers, right now this minute. Breezing through once in a while to label them ("hormonal monster") in the rush to get back to Robyn's house isn't what fathers should do.

    Like someone else asked - is Kody attending Hunter's football practice or his games? Or is he rushing to be at Robyn's side because she calls him crying about something?

    All this time wasted on Kody's part to prove his attachment to each wife (especially Robyn) is detracting from his involvement with his teenagers. No better arguement against polygamy than this, Kody's teenagers are drifting, or sedentary, or bored, or sad. They are all hungering for parental interaction that's more than a sound bite between the husbandly duties of impregnating many wives.

    Mariah might be the only child he knows well at all. She got more of his attention. This is not a good thing, ultimately, since she seems to buy into the poly dogma completely.

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  8. well said plot..... I totally agree. I know a number of families that have what by today's standards are considered large: 7 to 10. The two parents struggle to provide individual time for each child. There is no way that Kody can provide the smallest of fraction to each of his individual children.

    I have come to believe that Kody is truly not a parental figure (other than maybe a figure head) and in many cases even less of a husband. I agree that the teens are hungering for parental involvement as I think even their mother's attention is divided. I find the situation very sad for the teens.

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  9. Yeah, Anne, I agree the mothers' involvement is less than adequate. They all seem distracted rather than engaged around their kids.

    There is evidence that Janelle has an affect on her kids. They all seem to share her clear, methodical, thought processes. But have we seen any of the wives do something special with their children as individuals? Except for Meri who has no choice, not that I can recall.

    The sheer laziness of the Brown's familial interaction appalls me. Except for the wife drama (which sure feeds Kody's need for attention), nothing is going on. The kids aren't going to fairs or zoos or attending concerts. They sit on couches eating, from all I see. Their moms aren't pushing them outside for fresh air or soccer practice or clubs. Can't let the big world take their kids! The persistent theme of polygamy is to keep everyone inside the compound, be it mental or physical.

    Again, I love that Hunter kid. He gets it. Why is the family sitting around again, slothfully, when they could be out fishing or hiking or SOMETHING???? Aren't they in the great outdoors? What's with the pause of everyone and all plans to just sit around? Can't we accomplish something for ONCE without Robyn or some other crap holding up EVERYONE?

    I hope so deeply that Hunter doesn't go crazy under these conditions and get wrapped up in another unhealthy world as an escape. He really needs someone to extend an ear or hand. He needs to know that he is not wrong in any of his assessments of his family.

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  10. Example.
    I married a ma with a child. She was the independent kind. When she was 14, we had a child. She was THRILLED (Koolaid) because she never had a sibling.

    Im Mariah's head... that's her. Mariah has always had the ability to walk to her room when things got hectic. She was't up at 5 feeding and dressing 5 little ones.


    After 2 more, we felt for having 4 kids, with them being spread out, they got a lot of attention. BUT, EVEN with just 2 at home, it is VERY different than just having one. It's divided even then. I can't imagine HOW some of these children feel. A great dad? no.
    Interesting family? yes.
    Hope they all are finding a way to cope.
    Being told they had no frontal lobe to judge dating by a woman that was married, divorced with 3 kids by 27.....that's bonking their dad is to weird for even me.

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  11. When I lived in Vegas we took the kiddies to a different Bible Camp each week. Each Church offered a 4 day or so themed program consisting of music, crafts, food, plays & games....Cheap family time doing something interactive when school was out....If a wife was not working it would of been easy to negotiate, some were during the day, other programs were in the evenings. but Vegas was covered with summer family bible craft camps......Vegas has a a couple family roller rinks, 1 in a casino, 1 has Christian Music...There is a cool museum. The LDS families volunteer serving dinner at the Shade Tree family shelter....The browns and TLC are missing free stuff for back drops and action...Mt Charleston for hiking, Lake Mead for boating...the ice rink for ice hockey.....think of the story lines....Vegas even has a rinky dink zoo. I am kind of bored with these moms and no family action except eating and sitting or crying....Does TLC have a car and someone scouting locations? if so he/ she needs to step it up...Even the slot machines in every grocery store would be something....

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  12. A question I have is why did they REALLY leave Utah?? An investigation..PLEASE what is there to investigate? he is legally married to ONE woman and has 3 play mates ...Why move to Vegas with the depressed economy ?Why not move to his home town where there are other LDS polygamists?
    Well for one thing that would have been BORING ..now sin city that is another thing.. then how do they afford to live in 4 houses and feed a bevy of kiddos? No one is working..

    I suspect the wives supported the sport in utah ......so now they get to Vegas ...and the first thought was sell real estate..were they kidding??? So now they want to do a fitness center.. HUH?? unless there is a miracle and they get fit... and Cody can find time to work..(or will the "partner and the women run it??) ...This is one more scam..

    Anyone that tracks such things know that fitness centers are in trouble too?? And where does the start up cash come from?? Just what does cody have to offer except his name and the TLC exposure?

    This is one big scam IMHO ... well played Cody..it will soon be time to add one more wife for interest.. so make some extra space in that mansion for wife 5

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  13. There are some great posts on this in the AUG section, I believe, maybe July.
    They have lied several times about it. They left to promote the lawsuit!

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  14. Eh, the breakdown is not so shocking as far as I am concerned. With the amount of time the average American kid spends texting, online, playing video games, watching TV, etc. (not to mention the amount of time many parents spend doing these same things...facebook anyone?)I would highly doubt the "average" parent is spending any more time with their kids and spouse then these people. Besides, I think it is kind of harsh to criticize time slots...what about single parents who work 2 jobs or the parent that only gets to see all his/her kids for a day or two every couple weeks or even less due to divorce...or families like mine where dad works overtime every day and takes college courses in the next city over to better our family life thus gets little time with us. Do we all suck as parents too?

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  15. Anon 2:42 -

    That's a fair question. Yes, even in normal families time with teenagers is limited. My biggest gripe with the Kody Krew is that none of them are working or taking classes. None of them are doing much of anything. They sit on couches a lot.

    If the whole point of this polygamy garbage is "family" why doesn't Kody actually spend time with them instead of running off to rub Robyn's belly every chance he gets? He isn't doing anything these days. So why not take in a football practice or promote some form of exercise to his widening daughters?

    Seems to me Kody just doesn't care. He leaves everything up to the moms while his only job is to get them knocked up. He shows no intimate knowledge of his teenagers' lives. Can you say that is normal? Even the most harried parents have their radar tuned to their adolescents. Even divorced parents are listening for any indication of trouble from their insolent teens. Yes, parents often have to grasp at straws, but all I see Kody doing is dismissing his older kids with drive-by, idiotic, assessments.

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  16. Anonymous said...

    Eh, the breakdown is not so shocking as far as I am concerned. With the amount of time the average American kid spends texting, online, playing video games, watching TV, etc. (not to mention the amount of time many parents spend doing these same things...facebook anyone?)I would highly doubt the "average" parent is spending any more time with their kids and spouse then these people. Besides, I think it is kind of harsh to criticize time slots...what about single parents who work 2 jobs or the parent that only gets to see all his/her kids for a day or two every couple weeks or even less due to divorce...or families like mine where dad works overtime every day and takes college courses in the next city over to better our family life thus gets little time with us. Do we all suck as parents too?
    ______________________________________________

    No, I think there is a difference. I don't think children would feel the same resentment over their parents trying to better themselves for their children and their family. This family is not doing that. Like someone mentioned, they are not taking college classes or working overtime. They are breeding like mad and just causing more strain on the family, financial and emotional. There are children that don't see Kody for days on end and the reason is not school or work, it's bull****. There are plenty of examples where he had the chance to spend time. One that sticks out is when Hunter wanted to go fishing and had to wait for Robyn to put on her makeup. Kody could have take him and had some alone time, even for just a short while.
    Also, I'm sure families who do not have the chance to spend that much time with their children still know what's going on. From what is portrayed, he never knows any intimate details about his children. Does he know what they are interested in or what they might want to be when they get older?

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